Hundreds of armchairs across the country have lain deserted these recent summer months, bereft of the human mass that normally inhabits them, as the football season rolled to an end in May and despair descended on the nation. But, hark, what is that I hear? Why, it’s little sparrows alighting from tree to tree singing of a new dawn, and over there, baby badgers (black and white) peering from their sets and sniffing the air at the rumble of footfalls heading for their neatest stadium. Yes folks, once again, the miserable months where men have to do loads of DIY round the house are almost over and the new Premiership season is almost begun. Oh happy days. Now we can just shake the head at the breadknife and explain through a mouthful of nachos as she asks you to nail another skirting board back into a wall, “Uh-huh love, da frootballs on”

Yesterday’s game between Newcastle and Chelsea in the final of the Premier League Asia Cup on a humid Kuala Lumpur evening (shown live on Sky Sports 1) felt like the proverbial breath of fresh air after all the Big Brother TV nonsense that darkens our summers over here and makes us (me anyway) dream of watching 22 men chase a stitched up sheep’s stomach full of air around a field (as the female football haters like to label it).

Reports abounded that Shay had suffered from heat exhaustion on Saturday (July 26) while putting himself through gruelling eleventh hour training and we at Shay-Given.com were concerned that the big man might not make the final. To be honest we hadn’t a clue what ‘heat exhaustion’ actually meant until we looked it up in one of those family Health books that yer Ma buys from the Britannia Books club that nobody ever reads. Apparently, ‘heat exhaustion’ is when, and we quote: ‘the body’s temperature control system is overloaded. The body normally cools itself by sweating. But under some conditions, sweating just isn’t enough. In such cases, a person’s body temperature rises rapidly. Very high body temperatures may damage the brain or other vital organs.’ Yoinks! Fans of the site will recall immediately the Bear’s account from South Korea from last year’s World Cup regarding how Shay ‘sweated like a racehorse at the best of times’ in a bar called Buck Mulligans with all the rest of the Irish team the night Spain defeated Ireland on penalties. We can only guess at the amount of perspiration that would’ve been lashing off him from this carry on. Put it this way, I wouldn’t like to be doing the team laundry today. But it is apparently a serious thing and so it was therefore terrific to see him pass health-related concerns and walk from the tunnel behind Alan (Shearer) holding some Asian kid’s hand (which, let’s face it, probably hadn’t a clue who he was) and onto what looked like a state-of-the-art stadium in Kuala Lumpur.

Shay had a blinder. Read the match reports for yourself but be under no illusion he made many great saves and a clutch of one-on-ones that kept Newcastle in the frame and Chelsea, who you’d have to say over the 90 minutes were the better side, at bay. Twice in the first half he denied Eidur Gudjohnsen and once in the second half headed clear from another surging Gudjohnsen run, which was then poorly cleared by Newcastle’s defence but the 2nd attempt from Zenden drifted harmlessly wide. In the 2nd half he also denied Lampard with an excellent stop and tipped smartly over from a Johnson cross that saw him at full stretch. As our Dad would say he ‘leaped like a salmon’. You know his confidence is riding high when’s he’s doing things like heading the ball from outside his 18-yard box and taking his time with the ball at his feet, something he has turned into an art form. The match commentary from Ray Wilkins was highly complimentary and echoed the feats he was pulling off on the turf. Clearly Shay is obviously fine tuned for another great season.

0:0 at full time and the unusual rule in Asia followed where they skip any extra time and go straight to penalties. The last time we saw Shay make the long walk from the centre circle to the penalty box for a shoot-out was in Suwon, outside Seoul that night in Korea when Ireland exited the World Cup. A nice change to see him tying on his glove strappings knowing that this wasn’t the end of the world if he didn’t make any saves, as the commentators reminded us keepers are not expected to do anyway.

Lampard put Chelsea ahead before, unbelievably, Alan smacked the underside of the bar with a rocket and left it 1:0 to Chelsea. A poor poseur of an effort from Laurent Robert (hit the damned thing man) saw his effort well saved by the returning Carlo Cudicini.

Then it was Ireland international against Ireland international as Chelsea’s new multi-million signing Damien Duff, who was only thrown on for the last 10 minutes, stepped up. And joy of joys his left footed kick was superbly saved by Shay down to his right hand side. Shay began smiling immediately as he stood up saying something to Damien (which the commentators immediately reckoned was ‘I know which way you were going’ based on their assumption that Ireland trainings would reveal such tendencies) but Damien didn’t look in conversational humour after it.
Robert Huth and Gudjohnsen slotted coolly home before it left Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink walking towards Shay with the chance to give the Blues a 4-2 win. Shay did not leave the ball on the spot but instead walked right out to meet Hasselbaink and handed the ball to him saying something as he pushed the ball into Jimmy’s chest in a show of gamesmanship and good humour. And who would’ve thought it? Chelsea’s best striker has his penalty saved too as Shay went down brilliantly to the right. Laying there for some 15 seconds with the ball beneath his chin face down as the commentators talked wildly of the hero Given bringing Newcastle right back into it where before they seemed dead and buried. I almost took the roof from the house.

Alas, all this was for nowt as Lady Fortune vomited on our eiderdowns once more.
The ensuing sudden death period, where Craig Bellamy, Joe Keenan, Jonathan Woodgate and John Terry all traded successful penalties, saw Jermaine Jenas, where he had to score, sky Newcastle United’s hopes of some silverware into the Kuala Lumpur sky. Taxi for JJ.

A couple of short texts exchanged with Shay afterwards showed the mood was good despite the overall result (well, he was first class) and I heard they would probably mingle with Chelsea in the same hotel that evening before jetting for home and the start of the Premiership season. Shay told me he lost ’10 pounds in the game <and> was in a heap’ so hopefully he didn’t experience any more ‘heat exhaustion’. Something tells me though there’ll be no danger of that ailment back in St’ James this season, probably not until at least the year 3016 when the ozone is well gone and icebergs are a type of lolly you find next to the Soleros in the local shop’s freezer cabinet.

A big thanks to the 'Bear' for his time and effort in writing these articles.
©Copyright 2003 Shay-Given.com. All rights reserved.